This was a hard lesson for me to learn, but one of the most important. There I was, laying on my couch racked with anxiety, contemplating if I even had the strength to live through this. I could not forgive myself for my past and I had terrible anxiety about the future. All of the subconscious demons that had hidden from sight for so long, were now at my doorstep. If I projected my thoughts, even a few minutes into the future or past I experienced deep mental anguish in real time. Then I noticed gradually (with what I see as Divine guidance) that if I focused my mind in the exact present all of the anguish disappeared! This was amazing to me, and then I realized that the pain and prison I was in was my own creation. It was a prison of my own mind.
I realized that the future and the past are inventions of my mind.
Here's why I think so: A state of anxiety is fueled by my concern with future outcomes. Depression is regret or a negative view of the past. Both are delusions because they are, by definition, inventions of the mind. In my mental view of the past, I see it as I did at the time it happened, which is almost always an incorrect view. Incorrect because it is colored by the lens of my perception at the time. Sometimes this coloring is even subconscious. Here's a random example of what I mean. When I was a child I viewed using a computer, differently than I do now and may even view it differently again in the future. The future, of course, has not happened yet, and so it is completely an invention of our mind based on past experiences. No one knows for sure what will happen next. However, if I view the future with expectation of an outcome, based on past experience, it is much more likely that my behavior will influence my actions in the present. Depending on the view, this could be good or bad.
The thinking mind is nearly always projecting into the past and future. The thinking mind is the internal narrator, the part that's hard to turn off at night when you are trying to sleep, the part that's always going, maybe even when you are reading this. The "thinker" is always creating a narrative, an invented story that's imbued with meaning. This "thinker" (left brain, ego) is also prone to delusion...which ultimately leads to anxiety, depression and self generated stress. Don't get me wrong, thinking is not bad, however, based on my experience I don't feel it's meant to be the default mode of being.
Being in this thinking, analyzing state is not possible when focusing in the present moment, only awareness. I realized in my case I had become completely identified with the thinker. This part of us can become fearful because it has incorrectly identified with being you. However "the thinker", (the logical problem solving mode of our consciousness) while useful as a tool for carrying out tasks is not the essence of who we are, just a part of the whole.
Being locked into this problem solving mode of consciousness can also cause a lot of stress. Why? Because, by default, thinking is preoccupied with future outcomes based on past experience. This type of thought process can also trigger physiological responses in the body. For example while my mind is rolling through the imagined possibilities, the power of my imagination is so thorough that it also engages my body's physiology too. As you're probably well aware, our thoughts trigger various chemical, hormones and electrical signals in the body. This can be good or bad, but in the case of anxiety and depression the thought process is triggering a series of events that are also leading to physical and then more mental discomfort. This can become feedback loop between the mind and body and the worst part is that this type of thought process is not always even logical, sound or based in reality. While there are many, many stress management techniques, they are all temporary and they are nearly all aimed at one thing, which is to minimize "thinking" and focus on the present moment. The only way to eliminate stress completely is to minimize the constant interpretation of the present and instead cultivate a pure awareness of the present. In this mode of pure awareness there is no time for interpretation, judgement or fear. To eliminate "thinking" is to be fully present in the moment and awareness. To eliminate thinking and be in awareness is to be free of false identification, expectation and attachment. This is the state of pure joy.
All thoughts cease in the present moment. "Meditation" is nothing more than practicing your ability to access this "present moment awareness". For me, returning to this state of awareness has been to return to freshness of a child's mind and a true feeling of youth and timelessness. Yes, it takes practice and I'm not always on it...but now I know.
The only time is NOW!
For sound downloads click here.
Just a personal note: There is nothing new under the sun. I am just attempting to present info. here that has helped me. I hope to present it in a clear way based on my experience with anxiety which was a spiritual, psychological and emotional awakening for me. In retrospect of this experience I have been reading as much as I could to come to a deeper and more grounded understanding of this seemingly mystical thing that happened to me (so that I could share it with you). I'm not a doctor or a scientist. Please know this is only my experience. Yours will obviously be different, but since my experience was so similar to others I've talked to, I am hoping this may be helpful or useful to you in some way. It's also a way that I hope to share the love with you. That's my purpose here.
I realized that the future and the past are inventions of my mind.
Here's why I think so: A state of anxiety is fueled by my concern with future outcomes. Depression is regret or a negative view of the past. Both are delusions because they are, by definition, inventions of the mind. In my mental view of the past, I see it as I did at the time it happened, which is almost always an incorrect view. Incorrect because it is colored by the lens of my perception at the time. Sometimes this coloring is even subconscious. Here's a random example of what I mean. When I was a child I viewed using a computer, differently than I do now and may even view it differently again in the future. The future, of course, has not happened yet, and so it is completely an invention of our mind based on past experiences. No one knows for sure what will happen next. However, if I view the future with expectation of an outcome, based on past experience, it is much more likely that my behavior will influence my actions in the present. Depending on the view, this could be good or bad.
The thinking mind is nearly always projecting into the past and future. The thinking mind is the internal narrator, the part that's hard to turn off at night when you are trying to sleep, the part that's always going, maybe even when you are reading this. The "thinker" is always creating a narrative, an invented story that's imbued with meaning. This "thinker" (left brain, ego) is also prone to delusion...which ultimately leads to anxiety, depression and self generated stress. Don't get me wrong, thinking is not bad, however, based on my experience I don't feel it's meant to be the default mode of being.
Being in this thinking, analyzing state is not possible when focusing in the present moment, only awareness. I realized in my case I had become completely identified with the thinker. This part of us can become fearful because it has incorrectly identified with being you. However "the thinker", (the logical problem solving mode of our consciousness) while useful as a tool for carrying out tasks is not the essence of who we are, just a part of the whole.
Being locked into this problem solving mode of consciousness can also cause a lot of stress. Why? Because, by default, thinking is preoccupied with future outcomes based on past experience. This type of thought process can also trigger physiological responses in the body. For example while my mind is rolling through the imagined possibilities, the power of my imagination is so thorough that it also engages my body's physiology too. As you're probably well aware, our thoughts trigger various chemical, hormones and electrical signals in the body. This can be good or bad, but in the case of anxiety and depression the thought process is triggering a series of events that are also leading to physical and then more mental discomfort. This can become feedback loop between the mind and body and the worst part is that this type of thought process is not always even logical, sound or based in reality. While there are many, many stress management techniques, they are all temporary and they are nearly all aimed at one thing, which is to minimize "thinking" and focus on the present moment. The only way to eliminate stress completely is to minimize the constant interpretation of the present and instead cultivate a pure awareness of the present. In this mode of pure awareness there is no time for interpretation, judgement or fear. To eliminate "thinking" is to be fully present in the moment and awareness. To eliminate thinking and be in awareness is to be free of false identification, expectation and attachment. This is the state of pure joy.
All thoughts cease in the present moment. "Meditation" is nothing more than practicing your ability to access this "present moment awareness". For me, returning to this state of awareness has been to return to freshness of a child's mind and a true feeling of youth and timelessness. Yes, it takes practice and I'm not always on it...but now I know.
The only time is NOW!
For sound downloads click here.
Just a personal note: There is nothing new under the sun. I am just attempting to present info. here that has helped me. I hope to present it in a clear way based on my experience with anxiety which was a spiritual, psychological and emotional awakening for me. In retrospect of this experience I have been reading as much as I could to come to a deeper and more grounded understanding of this seemingly mystical thing that happened to me (so that I could share it with you). I'm not a doctor or a scientist. Please know this is only my experience. Yours will obviously be different, but since my experience was so similar to others I've talked to, I am hoping this may be helpful or useful to you in some way. It's also a way that I hope to share the love with you. That's my purpose here.