Sometime during my anxiety I realized slowly, piece by piece, that much of my anxiety was caused by focusing on things that were not me as though they were me...or that they at least represented me. I later saw that I had given power to so many things that I had no control over..things like whether a particular venture was successful in my eyes...or how I thought another person viewed me. Of course once I realized this it seemed completely ridiculous, and yet as a society we are all trained to do this all of the time to some degree or another. This is what the ego part of us does, tries to know things by looking at clues, signs or patterns about situations or other people. It's really a kind of defense mechanism. There is a place for that, however, if I don't temper this type of analysis by asking if it is really true, then there can be trouble in the form of judgement, hatred, suspicion of others and more. All of this, of course, is a result of one thing. Fear. Unknowingly, it's easy to turn this type of analysis back at ourselves, thinking that our judgements of others are accurate enough to warrant trying to live up to a similar standard for ourselves. This kind of self judgement causes anxiety, anger, depression and delusion.
Here are some of the things that I identified with...that are not me (or I've noticed in others close to me):
Identification with income
Identification with house
Identification with car
Identification with clothing
Identification with marriage or relationship or status
Identification with talents
Identification with reputation
Identification with others opinion
Identification with a political position or party
Identification with football team
Identification with ideas or philosophies
Identification with race
Identification with nationality
Identification with current events
Identification with sexuality
Identification with friends
Identification with a group of people
Identification with religion or viewpoint
Identification with the future or outcomes
Identification with past regrets
etc...etc... etc...
You've probably noticed someone you're close to (or yourself) go through various moods related to some of these. I have certainly done it to myself to the point of exhaustion.
Later though, I realized that as long as I am OK with me and can love myself, none of these things really have power. Also, I noticed that my experience of life was infinitely better, opening me to connections and relationships I might not have made otherwise. Throughout life we are all in various stages of becoming and unbecoming. In youth, everything is about becoming and acquiring gifts, talents and sometimes things. Then we maintain. Later, we let go. This is a continuous process (in small and large cycles). Some of the things we work to become, others are just part of what we are given. Any of these phases can be stressful depending on how we view it. Of course, I realized later that my identity should always be in who I am...(not peripheral things that are always changing.)
The core of our being never really changes...from childhood to old age. Getting back in touch with that core was key for me. It's given me the space to love myself and others more completely.
Isn't that what this life is all about?
For sound downloads click here.
Just a personal note: There is nothing new under the sun. I am just attempting to share info. here that has helped me. I hope to present it in a clear way based on my experience with anxiety which was a spiritual, psychological and emotional awakening for me. In retrospect of this experience I have been reading as much as I could to come to a deeper and more grounded understanding of this seemingly mystical thing that happened to me (so that I could share it with you). I'm not a doctor or a scientist. Please know this is only my experience. Yours will obviously be different, but since my experience was so similar to others I've talked to, I am hoping this may be helpful or useful to you in some way. It's also a way that I hope to share my love with you. That is my purpose here.
Here are some of the things that I identified with...that are not me (or I've noticed in others close to me):
Identification with income
Identification with house
Identification with car
Identification with clothing
Identification with marriage or relationship or status
Identification with talents
Identification with reputation
Identification with others opinion
Identification with a political position or party
Identification with football team
Identification with ideas or philosophies
Identification with race
Identification with nationality
Identification with current events
Identification with sexuality
Identification with friends
Identification with a group of people
Identification with religion or viewpoint
Identification with the future or outcomes
Identification with past regrets
etc...etc... etc...
You've probably noticed someone you're close to (or yourself) go through various moods related to some of these. I have certainly done it to myself to the point of exhaustion.
Later though, I realized that as long as I am OK with me and can love myself, none of these things really have power. Also, I noticed that my experience of life was infinitely better, opening me to connections and relationships I might not have made otherwise. Throughout life we are all in various stages of becoming and unbecoming. In youth, everything is about becoming and acquiring gifts, talents and sometimes things. Then we maintain. Later, we let go. This is a continuous process (in small and large cycles). Some of the things we work to become, others are just part of what we are given. Any of these phases can be stressful depending on how we view it. Of course, I realized later that my identity should always be in who I am...(not peripheral things that are always changing.)
The core of our being never really changes...from childhood to old age. Getting back in touch with that core was key for me. It's given me the space to love myself and others more completely.
Isn't that what this life is all about?
For sound downloads click here.
Just a personal note: There is nothing new under the sun. I am just attempting to share info. here that has helped me. I hope to present it in a clear way based on my experience with anxiety which was a spiritual, psychological and emotional awakening for me. In retrospect of this experience I have been reading as much as I could to come to a deeper and more grounded understanding of this seemingly mystical thing that happened to me (so that I could share it with you). I'm not a doctor or a scientist. Please know this is only my experience. Yours will obviously be different, but since my experience was so similar to others I've talked to, I am hoping this may be helpful or useful to you in some way. It's also a way that I hope to share my love with you. That is my purpose here.