Make Feeling Good the Goal

Note to Self:

1. You may have things in your life that you want to change, or see happen.. however, instead of becoming stressed about these things make feeling good (internally/mentally) the goal... for now. 

2. It's always now.

Examine your thoughts in real time are they making you feel good (physically)? If not, why feed them with your attention? Feeling aggravated or annoyed at someone or a situation? Let it go! ..or face the issue head on (then let it go). Be willing to let go of stressful feelings and mental patterns, right here, right now... (and experience the magic that begins to happen within you, moment by moment.)
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After my worst anxiety, I had a new awareness. I became aware that the only person that could possibly be responsible for triggering my own physical responses was me. No one could "make me mad", no one could "make me annoyed", "make me feel guilty..or ashamed" etc. I was now aware of being responsible for creating my own inner reactions. So, I made "feeling good" the goal. I knew that triggering fearful or anxious responses physically would put me back in that negative space and maybe trigger anxiety all over again. I also felt that the energy I put out was coming right back to me, so I wanted to be especially conscious of putting out good vibes, and creating them within myself. The more I focused on creating good vibes, and having a good attitude and appropriate responses to each situation, it seemed the more that others (perhaps unaware) now had the opportunity to reflect that back to me. When they didn't, I had learned from my own experience that it most likely had nothing to do with me, but with their own inner world..and from that awareness it was much easier to "let things go", or be compassionate about their situation. I felt a new awareness within myself that perhaps the universe was listening to each of my responses and actions in the moment. I began to ask, was I really enjoying this experience (that I was creating)? Was I being true to myself in each interaction? Was I operating authentically, and without shoving things down and suppressing them just to be socially acceptable? 

I also wanted to avoid the anger I previously had, that had scared me. That anger was fed by incorrect assumptions and judgements. All of those assumptions, judgements, suppressions, and mental stresses triggered physiological responses that ultimately hurt no one but me. 

So, I've made it my mission to be aware of these responses and to avoid them. Not avoid them in the sense of suppressing them, but avoid them in the sense of being aware of what it was about a situation that was triggering them. What was it about me, that triggered these things in ME? Seeking "understanding" in these things helped me to bypass the fear and stress of the trigger. This also helped in many cases to diffuse it permanently.

So, I made it my practice to first focus on feeling good. Which, for me, meant not triggering the physiological responses to mental states. Yoga and conscious breathing practices were great for that. When a situation arose I would remind myself to take deep breaths or clear the energy if I felt tension building up somewhere in the body. Sometimes I did this by flexing various muscles and then letting them relax. That, in combination with consciously breathing deeply and slowly, helped me to work through the stress spots and then return myself to feeling good (what I called "high"). This new space of "being high" became new space of balance and inner awareness. Watching my inner responses and how I respond to stress in this way, has helped me to stay "open" mentally and physically. 


In order to continue to do this I found that I also needed to drastically alter my "stock" perceptions (my subconscious) and seek a new understanding in each unique situation so that I could see the truth in the moment...not the "stock" view of my subconscious. Each moment and situation became a new learning experience. 

Although the awakening I experienced in and of itself was radically transformative, I was (and am) continuing to learn and transform my mind in each moment. The energy of feeling either stress, or "feeling good" has become my guide. The awareness of this energy is a guide returning me to being aware of what I really FEEL. The goal, I think, is to be able to stay present and aware of choosing the energy of either Love, or fear in each moment. 

Things to ask:

Is your judgement of a person or situation making you feel better (physically)? Is there something to learn or change?


Is your self judgment (or self loathing) making you feel better? (If there is a lesson to learn, learn it...then forgive yourself and drop the judgement)

Is the fear or anxiety you are feeling helping you to perform better?

Where are the feelings manifesting in your body? What does that feeling tell you, about you?

Really paying attention to these answers has helped me to gradually become more aware and continue let go of stressful reactions and behaviors.



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Just a personal note: There is nothing new under the sun. I am just attempting to present info. here that has helped me. I hope to present it in a clear way based on my experience with anxiety which was a spiritual, psychological and emotional awakening for me. In retrospect of this experience I have been reading as much as I could to come to a deeper and more grounded understanding of this seemingly mystical thing that happened to me (so that I could share it with you). I'm not a doctor or a scientist. Please know this is only my experience. Yours will obviously be different, but since my experience was so similar to others I've talked to, I am hoping this may be helpful or useful to you in some way. It's also a way that I hope to share the love with you. That is my purpose here.



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