2. It's always now.
I also wanted to avoid the anger I previously had, that had scared me. That anger was fed by incorrect assumptions and judgements. All of those assumptions, judgements, suppressions, and mental stresses triggered physiological responses that ultimately hurt no one but me.
Although the awakening I experienced in and of itself was radically transformative, I was (and am) continuing to learn and transform my mind in each moment. The energy of feeling either stress, or "feeling good" has become my guide. The awareness of this energy is a guide returning me to being aware of what I really FEEL. The goal, I think, is to be able to stay present and aware of choosing the energy of either Love, or fear in each moment.
Things to ask:
Is your judgement of a person or situation making you feel better (physically)? Is there something to learn or change?
Is your self judgment (or self loathing) making you feel better? (If there is a lesson to learn, learn it...then forgive yourself and drop the judgement)
Is the fear or anxiety you are feeling helping you to perform better?
Where are the feelings manifesting in your body? What does that feeling tell you, about you?
Really paying attention to these answers has helped me to gradually become more aware and continue let go of stressful reactions and behaviors.
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Just a personal note: There is nothing new under the sun. I am just attempting to present info. here that has helped me. I hope to present it in a clear way based on my experience with anxiety which was a spiritual, psychological and emotional awakening for me. In retrospect of this experience I have been reading as much as I could to come to a deeper and more grounded understanding of this seemingly mystical thing that happened to me (so that I could share it with you). I'm not a doctor or a scientist. Please know this is only my experience. Yours will obviously be different, but since my experience was so similar to others I've talked to, I am hoping this may be helpful or useful to you in some way. It's also a way that I hope to share the love with you. That is my purpose here.