The Ego Mind - Left Brain Interpreter

I had this thought while I was laying in bed this morning.  I have been thinking about the roles of the left brain and right brain after watching Jill Bolte Taylor's video, a stroke of insight.

We are born into chaos.  

As a baby I knew nothing about the world.  Nothing about language, what kind of being I was, what kind of world I was in. Nothing. In an effort to make sense of it all I began to try to establish patterns based on what I observed.  Slowly, to a large extent , I  learned to adapt and conform to the world that existed when I arrived here.  My theory is that this is the beginning of the "Ego" mind.  Is it possible that the "Ego mind" is really just an out of control left brain?

What does the left brain do?

The left brain decodes patterns and calculates for the future based on past experiences.  This gives rise to the idea of cause and effect and perhaps also linear time.  The left brain while it is useful in performing calculations, is not very adept at larger perceptions.  Slowly, in order to find refuge from chaos it becomes natural to rely on this "pattern calculating response" in order to determine the nature of reality.  The right brain is our connection to our higher self our moral compass, our connection to God, Infinite Wisdom and ultimately our uninhibited capacity to love.  It also offers us unfiltered access to all of our perceptions.

Here are some interesting quotes about this from wikipedia:

In neuropsychology the left brain interpreter refers to the construction of explanations by the left brain in order to make sense of the world by reconciling new information with what was known before.  The left brain interpreter attempts to rationalize, reason and generalize new information it receives in order to relate the past to the present.[2]
Left brain interpretation is a case of the lateralization of brain function that applies to "explanation generation" rather than other lateralized activities.[3] Although the concept of the left brain interpreter was initially based on experiments on patients with split brains, it has since been shown to apply to the everyday behavior of people at large.[3]
However, the facile explanations provided by the left brain interpreter may also enhance the opinion of a person about themselves and produce strong biases which prevent the person from seeing themselves in the light of reality and repeating patterns of behavior which led to past failures.[2] The explanations generated by the left brain interpreter may be balanced by right brain systems which follow the constraints of reality to a closer degree.[2][9]
The checks and balances provided by the right brain hemisphere may thus avoid scenarios that eventually lead to delusion via the continued construction of biased explanations.[2] In 2002 Gazzaniga stated that the three decades of research in the field had taught him that the left hemisphere is far more inventive in interpreting facts than the right hemisphere's more truthful, literal approach to information management.  Read more here.

The birth of Fear.

The unchecked Ego mind (left brain) becomes more interested in self preservation, and pleasures and less interested in the greater good. It is working overtime trying to determine what comes next at the expense and missed pleasure of what IS and BEING in the moment.  Is this is the birth of fear, anxiety?  Maybe.  In my case, this was not only a major source of my anxiety, but also the birth of self loathing.  Although it can often be full of pride and apparent self-confidence, I don't think the ego likes itself very much, because many times it overlooks the good of others for the sake of expediency or self gratification.  Most of the time this seems like very small things, just little shortcuts in life that don't really hurt anyone.  On a larger collective level though these things can grow into very ugly situations that society, as a whole, has a hard time escaping.  This particular analogy reminds me of HAL in the movie 2001 a space odyssey.  HAL eventually took over from his task as a 'calculator' and became more interested in "his" self preservation.  The Ego, just like HAL of course, doesn't really exist. It is a creation and is constantly changing and adapting to a changing environment.  This constant adaption and calculation can also lead to stress in the physical body because this constant fixation on determining what happens next is in fact STRESSFUL. True stability can only come from rooting in the thing that doesn't change, our Higher Self. LOVE. Our ability to love ourselves (with all our imperfections) and love others (with theirs) without fear.

Is the Ego, the left brain, the seed of evil or at the least the path of error and delusion?  Left unchecked, I think it can be. Mainly, though, I think it is just a calculator. It has no power beyond what we choose to give it. The important thing I realized is that I am not my thoughts and I don't have to believe everything I think.  These concepts and belief systems that I have created are not necessarily accurate.  Sometimes they become the mental feedback loops I was talking about in a earlier post.

So to check myself I have to ask:

Are these thoughts and motivations consistent with Love or fear?

There are also times that I just need to let ALL thoughts go (with meditation) in order to clear the hard drive of my mind, so to speak, and allow the truth of just "being" to inform my choices from a better place.

The truth is that sometimes I struggle with my ego even with this blog.  What will people think?  Does this make sense?  Am I crazy?  etc. etc. etc.  In the end I have to let go of all that and make sure my intention is right and that I am being honest with my self first.  Not for the sake of getting love, but for the sake of giving love.  Thousands of times per day we all face this choice.  It is my challenge to choose Love, not fear, and if I fail, to forgive myself and try to make it right, and move on.

PS>  I just found this on a google search and this looks like a good book regarding the left brain right brain ideas.

Just a personal note: There is nothing new under the sun. I am just attempting to present info. here that has helped me. I hope to present it in a clear way based on my experience with anxiety which was a spiritual, psychological and emotional awakening for me. In retrospect of this experience I have been reading as much as I could to come to a deeper and more grounded understanding of this seemingly mystical thing that happened to me (so that I could share it with you).  I'm not a doctor or a scientist.  Please know this is only my experience.  Yours will obviously be different, but since my experience was so similar to others I've talked to, I am hoping this may be helpful or useful to you in some way. That is my purpose here.

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